It's 2009 and this is the blog of author Steven Zeeland.

Yes, it has been two years since my final "Postcard from Zeeland."

Where was I? China?

Nope. The two places I should have uploaded e-postcards from were my island on the border to Ontario, CA, and an island near Pensacola, FL.

The one place I most certainly was not was China -- where I could have been overseeing the printing of SEADOG PHOTO: NAVY TOWN NIGHTLIFE (call me nitpicky, but-- I don't want my book printed in a country so shamefully contemptuous of human rights).

Anyway: this Labor Day I can announce the 2010 publication of my "coffee table" book of sailor photographs!

Thanks for this to friend and collaborator extraordinaire Dink Flamingo. (Who may have sweet talked me into spending more time than seems possible in that trailer in Yuma, AZ, but just as sweetly stood by me when I went all Amnesty International on him about China and human rights.)

Thanks, too, to all who've been helping me not starve via eBay.

- Steve

Hi. I am still alive. And -- despite my newly diagnosed chronic lung disease -- I am fully intent on living at least as long as the younger of my two cats (aged three).

Somewhere in one of my letters to Mark (born on the Fourth of July -- Happy Birthday Mr) Simpson, which ended up incorporated in THE QUEEN IS DEAD, I mentioned a slumming day trip across Puget Sound from Seattle to the struggling, low-rent Navy shipyard "ghetto" that-- Well, that I now call home. And I added that, in between cruising the retro adult video arcades a block or two from base, I stopped by a thrift store run by the local Humane Society and, for US $0.25, bought a Henry Miller book "that I will probably never read."

For those of you who believe that "everything happens for a reason" (now, more than ever before in my life, I don't NOT believe ...):

Reading my quaint biographical romances, people often ask how on earth I managed to keep my head above water during the black years of famine and drought. I have explained, of course, and in these very books, that at the last ditch someone always came to my rescue. Anyone who has a steady purpose is bound to attract friends and supporters. What man ever accomplished anything alone? The impressive thing, however, is that aid, when it does come, never comes from the expected quarter – where it should come from as we think.

No, we are never alone. But one has to live apart to know it for the truth.

Many, many thanks to the friends (old friends and new ...) who came through in response to my last "postcard." More than I can adequately express, your support has helped me survive the bleakest months of my adult life.

Re: "Are you getting better?"

Though not a superstitious man, I've grown almost wary about discussing the latest on my lungs. For one thing, my lungs have been declared irreversibly damaged (inexplicably and mysteriously so ... my regular doctor, who I would have to name as one of the most saintly humans I have ever encountered, actually took it upon himself to apologize for the "primitive knowledge" of early 21st century medicine). Realistically, the best I can hope for is that my health improves just a little. So, I'll cautiously confess that yes, I am doing a little better. And that (touch ... wood...) I can now boast of consistently going a month at a time without coughing blood.

That said, when I did wake up the other week thinking of Kafka , at least now I know the deal:

moderate hemoptysis may be frightening to the patient but is seldom fatal

To everyone I'm overdue writing to I apologize. With heart. Last fall and winter I truly did slow down considerably. (Concurrent with being told that I might have lung cancer / should in any case think about a lung transplant, the same day I had a CT-scan so did my father. With unhappier results.)

But even though it's now summer (my least favorite time of year -- yes, I am finished complaining), lately I do seem to be showing some renewed signs of life:

* Last weekend I narrowly escaped the "stray cat" seductive power of a charming lost sailor vomiting on the late night Seattle-Bremerton ferry. (Mercifully, even as I against my better judgment sought to intervene on his behalf with the Homeland Security patrol, at the last moment his Navy buddies materialized and after some hesitation offered, "Uh, he's with us.")

* Work on the Second Edition of BARRACK BUDDIES, though somewhat delayed (-- again. This time by some pesky flashbacks I suffered on account of Gulf War II syndrome --) ...

. . . is finally shaping up. My approach to this project has been slow but extremely meticulous. (Any last-minute -- even stream-of-whatever -- e-mail commentaries on that first book -- or better yet, period US Army / USAF hi-res photo submissions -- would be very welcome.)

* I am hopeful of playing a strong role in the launch of a new Men's Studies/Masculinity Studies book program. Especially now that the conservative US Supreme Court has unexpectedly, poignantly, in no uncertain terms ditched 20th century prohibition of SODOMY.

* My last "postcard" concluded with a pledge that everyone who sent a donation toward my medical expenses would receive a complimentary copy of a limited edition "Best of Seadogphoto.com" CD-R to be issued sometime this summer. This pledge I remain intent on fulfilling before Labor Day. To include the kind-hearted souls who sent me five dollars -- and those individuals who contributed from international postal zones that will cost me five dollars to send a data disc to.

* At this writing, I am still working on special letters to: the guy in AU who probably didn't realize the can of worms he opened in mentioning his most recent CD purchase; K.O.; my comrade in CO; the man of the law in MA ...

Finally, very special thanks to my mysterious new friend in CA who knows about Birmans. . . .

Your

Steve

PS I'm still thousands of dollars in debt for medical expenses, and am still dependent on outside patronage to try to keep making payments and keep on writing. As of this update, I promise to provide a numbered, limited edition photo CD-R (or, if you prefer, a one-of-a-kind, non-easy-listening, 80's industrial / "dark wave" / spoken word + original audio CD-R -- at your own risk!) to anyone who donates $20 or more via the PayPal button at the top of this page. For those who would prefer to mail a donation, my address is PO Box 1237, Bremerton, WA 98337 USA. Thanks.

Hi Everyone -

Sorry for the long silence since my last "postcard." And that for seven months the only updates to this page have been plugs for merchandise.

I wish I could 'fess up to laziness, greed and/or simply being too consumed by research /debauchery. I wish I didn't have a "better" excuse.

A doctor's excuse.

IN 25 WORDS OR LESS

It's probably not cancerous. Probably it won't kill me anytime soon. But it seems I'm paying a price for all the secondhand smoke I inhaled during the course of my research. My doctor has suggested that it may not be too early to start thinking about the possibility of a lung transplant.

DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB

If you actually counted the words in the above paragraph, chances are you're someone who reads books.

The one aspect of my life as a "self-employed" writer/editor (/independent scholar, sometimes photographer...) that friends always seem most envious of is the hours.

The one aspect in the life of anybody with a regular job that I envy most is the benefits. No matter how miserly. More than anything else, right now I envy anyone with health insurance.

BLOOD AND FIRE

. . . is the motto on the door of the Salvation Army, my neighbors across the street.

Four years ago when I moved from Seattle to Bremerton I told friends that I was prepared for "a lot more smoke and more blood in my life." I was speaking as a non-smoker and vegetarian. I didn't foresee that the blood would be my own.

In June I started coughing. The medical bills became a problem after September, which is when I started coughing up blood.

Last week I finally saw a Seattle pulmonary specialist, who diagnosed my lungs as irreversibly damaged and resembling those of a lifelong hardcore smoker. He recommends resectioning (i.e., removing part of my lung).

NOT A LOBOTOMY, A LOBECTOMY

I haven't yet attempted to place a dollar amount on this "very expensive" thoracic surgery. For now, it's enough to know that it would cost more than my total gross income for the last two years combined. For now, it's challenge enough trying to figure out how I'm going to pay the pulmonologist. The radiologists. And certain other medical bills I haven't even opened yet--

AND keep on writing books (which - a sad fact not widely known - almost always costs an author more out-of-pocket expense than is covered by a publisher's advance).

The fact that I can still work disqualifies me from receiving any federal assistance. But even if I were in a coma, I still would not qualify for State assistance as long as I continue receiving even $.01 in royalties.

One thing is clear: this year, stretching my royalty checks to keep my Sacred Birman (" like loyal dog captured in cat body ") Chester in IAMS would take a miracle of loaves-and-fishes proportions.

THE US OF eBAY

After months of resistance, at the persistent urging of friends ("But Steve, your situation is, er, well, DESPERATE...") I am adding a PayPal donation box to this page.

I'm told I'm not the first author to ever beg for patronage.

And that coughing up blood is about as literary as illness gets.

Also, that were I born of noble stock I would feel no shame whatsoever about pleading for assistance. But as a third-generation Dutch-American from suburban Grand Rapids, MI whose father and grandfather were shopkeepers, I have an easier time asking for money in exchange for goods.

At this writing, all I have listed on eBay are signed copies of THE MASCULINE MARINE and MILITARY TRADE ("ENHANCED"). And doubly autographed copies of A NIGHT IN THE BARRACKS. But I do have more to sell. . . .

1. For discerning collectors, I am creating a "MEMORABILIA" page. Offered for sale will be unusual, one-of-a-kind items (some prohibited for sale on eBay).



2. An excellent new book I've contributed a chapter to will be out sometime this summer (see below). If you purchase this or any of my books, please consider ordering them directly from me -- or through my links to amazon.com (the small commission I receive from amazon.com sales is actually slightly higher than my royalty for each book sold).



3. In the coming months I will also be offering for direct sale limited edition CD-R's: a photo CD containing several hundred never-before-seen "best of seadog" original images of sailors.

And as many as four audio CDs.

So, "all is not gloom and doom," I was just about to type. But that's not strictly true. Globally, nationally, locally, as well as personally, I have to say I've never before known quite this level of gloom and doom.

Then again, I have a pretty strong record of . . . thriving on adversity?

I've returned to work on the second edition of my very first book. Looking back, it might never have been published at all were it not for the gloomiest event of my life up until then: the Gulf War.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU BLOOD, MAKE BLUTWURST

It's funny how . . . things connect?

Last week I reconnected telephonically with Scott, the first soldier I interviewed for BARRACK BUDDIES. When the book was published, I promised that Scott and I were collaborating on a short story about his sexual adventures in the Gulf War. It took us years to accomplish it, but the result ("Semen in a Bullet") was eventually included in Alex Buchman's A NIGHT IN THE BARRACKS.

And it was nominated for inclusion in Susie Bright's BEST AMERICAN EROTICA 2003, which is now off-press.

Meanwhile, Alex Buchman's second non-fiction military erotica collection -- BARRACKS BAD BOYS: AUTHENTIC ACCOUNTS OF SEX IN THE ARMED FORCES -- is in production, and should be out around September. My contribution is a story about how I started taking pictures of sailors in smoke-filled bars. The title: "Trouble Loves Me."

More soon (this time I mean it),

--Steve

PS For those who would prefer to mail a donation, my address is PO Box 1237, Bremerton, WA 98337 USA. (Everyone who helps -- or who already has -- will receive a signed, numbered copy of the limited edition Seadog Photo CD upon its release this summer.) Thanks.